10,000 miles per hour

Thats how fast life seems to fly for me. Wake up, care for Ronan, laundry, feed Ronan, dishes, feed Ronan, bounce Ronan, hold him so he'll stay asleep, watch byu devontionals on roku, hand off Ronan to my sister Cami, and go to work, come home and care for the boy again. And next day: Repeat!

I'm sitting here blinking, how can it already be june? It still feels like march (minus the heat). If variety is the spice of life, I'm about as bland as cornstarch. And I feel it. Life is too short to let it just pass by, but I guess thats easier said than done.

But as ever, life is constant change. And believe me, I'm catching onto this blah I've turned into. So along with revamping my diet (read 'nourishing traditions' its an amazing book, not just for pregnant ladies and their babies, everyone should read it) i'm also going to take house chores less seriously, cause really, the sink is never clean anyways, and laundry never goes away either, so i might as well have some fun and not stress getting it done asap. So i buy a few new songs on itunes and write a little of my thoughts down and nurse my bald little grunting child.

He is truly the most precious thing in my life. When he was born, a whole new part of my heart opened up, just for him. Which is good, because he is such a little firecracker, i've been overwhelmed not a few times. And while i might entertain the thought of giving my dogs up once in a while, I can only love Ronan and wish i was better equipped to give him what he needs.

His cousin Barrett was born a week after him. And the difference between the two is stark. Ronan is a little wiggle worm, and Barrett is calm and still. Ronan is bald and Barrett has brown hair. Ronan needs to be walked or bounced or nursed or he cries. Barrett is content resting and looking around if he isn't hungry. At least these have been my observations when our families get together. Its amazing how unique even babies are one from another.

But i supposed thats enough of my ramblings for now, at least.

polish bread

I found this recipe on cooks.com and there was no pic so I couldn't use pinterest so I am posting it so I can pin it.

Polish Bread!

5-6 c. flour
1 tsp. salt
1 cake yeast (or 1 package of active dry yeast)
1/2 c. warm water (104-115°F)
3/4 c. sugar
1 1/2 c. milk
1/4 lb. butter
3/4 c. golden raisins
1 tsp. vanilla
2 eggs, beaten

Note: The original recipe called for the use of fresh cake yeast, but active dry yeast may be substituted. At Cooks.com Test Kitchen we have tested this bread with both fresh cake yeast and active dry yeast, but prefer the fresh yeast in this instance because there is a slower rise and a this provides a more flavorful result. But you be the judge!In a saucepan, heat milk. Add butter and heat until the butter is melted. Pour into a large bowl. Stir in sugar and salt. Allow to cool to lukewarm.
Crumble (or stir) yeast into warm water until yeast is dissolved. Let sit approximately 5 minutes. Add to cooled milk.
Stir in eggs and vanilla. Gradually add flour and knead dough in bowl (for approximately 1/2 hour if done by hand) until dough no longer sticks to hands. Add raisins and knead into dough.
Note: We used the kneading attachment of an electric mixer for 12 minutes.
Cover with a clean towel and let rise a in warm place, free from draft until doubled (approximately 1 hour).
Punch down dough. Cover and let rise again. Punch down again.
Divide dough in half and put into 2 greased 9x5 inch bread pans or 1 angel food cake pan (without tube) for a large traditional bread.
Mix 1 egg yolk and 2 tablespoons water. Brush top of bread with mixture and let rise uncovered in a warm place until doubled.
Bake at 350°F 30-35 minutes for 9x5 inch pans or 40-50 minutes for large pan, or until bread is golden and loaves sound hollow when tapped on the bottom.
This is a traditional Polish bread recipe that is served during the Easter and Christmas Holidays.

Some People

I church on sunday Rial and I got to go to his cousin's farewell. It was a miracle sunday. I didn't have a headache, not even a little one. For the last 3 sundays I have skipped out on sacrament meeting due to monster headaches and only gone to primary b/c Rial can't teach our class by himself.

I was so happy to be able to finally partake of the sacrament again. Though we did miss the opening hymn and prayer. After announcements the organ began to play as usual, and then the lady right behind me began humming along, off-key. And then singing, off-key.

I started to feel annoyed, but then another miracle occurred. I remembered a little boy with brain damage I knew and have sung count-less songs with, and I thought of how poorly he sung by the world's standards. And I thought of how pure his heart was and how I felt the first time I heard him sing "I Am a Child of God", and I knew of God's love for this women and His pleasure at hearing her sing praises to Him. I wished my heart could be that pure.

Perhaps this lady wasn't like the little boy I knew, but if not, I admired her courage at not caring what the world may think of her voice, but raising it up and praising her God through song.

Either way, I was blessed to hear her sing off-key. It strengthened my testimony and made me want to be a better person.

maybe this time?

There must be a lot of people praying for us and our future children, because we made it past the dreaded week 7. And it kind of lit a fire in me. All of a sudden, I had to, I needed to be seen by somebody, anybody that could tell me what was going on. I called, and called. Then another miracle happened and I was able to be seen as a new patient on the same day.

I cried after I hung up the phone. I was going to be seen. For so long no one would see me. And now I was going to be seen, my unspoken fears and concerns were going to be addressed. I was so unbelievably happy.

The doctor ordered some blood work to check my hormone levels. AND I was going to get an ultrasound asap to check viability and an uncertain due date.

I cried again during my ultrasound. There was a real baby inside of there. A baby I watch moving around inside of me on the ultrasound screen. A baby that had arms and legs, and even fingers on its hands. I watched it little heart beat. It had a healthy heart rate of 170 beats per min.

Can you see his/her little hand and fingers? Its harder to see in a still picture than when watching the ultrasound movie. Sara the tech told me that based on my baby's measurements he/she was 10 weeks and 1 day +/- 5 days old. 

I feel so crazy blessed to have this. I know I could still miscarry, but I don't feel like I'm just waiting for the inevitable anymore. Its like, proof that we really do have a chance. And all the baby and pregnancy stuff I just couldn't think about before, well, its just nice to be able to. 

So keep up the praying and I'll do my best to eat with my nausea, and hopefully by march 5 2013 Rial and I will finally get to join the parent's club.

Not Me, at least thats what I used to think

This is for the people who know the pain I know. I really would rather not be so out spoken about something so private, but there is comfort in knowing you are not alone. And for the other 1% out there like me, WE are not alone.

Three days ago my world fell apart. I rushed home from work to spend my evening trapped in the bathroom. I knew what it was. I had had this feeling twice before. But still I kept telling myself everything was fine, it was just a little spotting. Lots of pregnant women have spotting in the first trimester, some even throughout their entire pregnancy; in my moments of doubt I had read all about it online. No one ever posted anything but reassurances for women who were worried about it. And for me it turned to be a false hope. A little spotting for me became another miscarriage. In a little less than a year, my third one in a row. 

It crushed me. I have no other words to convey the depth of my feeling.

I know being a mother is hard. I know that with the sweet innocence of babies and childhood there are times when you feel like pulling your hair out, its all so frustrating. The sleepless nights, the screaming kids, always cleaning someone else's mess. But I want it. The good, the bad, the ugly, the sweet. I want that joy of being a mother in my life. 

And poor Rial, standing helplessly by as his wife, who he loves more than anything, sobs and cries for motherhood, which is once more snatched away, becoming as unobtainable as the sun in the dead of night. 

This wasn't supposed to happen. With the world full of positive pregnancy tests that bring tears of sorrow instead of joy, why must a couple such as us be denied? Why did we have to be that 1% of people to have initially miscarried 3 times in a row? We worked so hard. Bought a house. Fixed it up. All so we could raise a family in it. Our careful plan has gone awry and I feel like we missed a turn. What more could we have done? I wish I had the Lord's vision. I wish I could see the good that he must see in this. But I can't. Though the other night I did get close. 

It is so great the good reading scriptures, praying and priesthood blessing can do. I do not know why this has to happen to us. But I feel peace in knowing there is a reason and we shall benefit from it in the end. I still do not like it, but I am okay with it as I know it is in His hands and He has promised us with children.

The diagnosis: recurrent miscarriage. The prognosis: hopefully we'll know when we save up enough money to see the specialist (we are done being slave to the lender). In the meantime, I have been given hope by the one sure source and with my good husband, we will carry on.

Say What!?!

When I was approx, oh about, 13 years old I was very concerned that my sweet, naive little 6 yr younger sister might someday be convinced that vegetarian or even vegan might be the way to eat. I believe I had just learned about how important protein is in our diet in my home ec class. So I did the only thing I knew would work. I very seriously made her pinky swear that she would never, EVER, be a vegetarian. And there by ensured her future health.

I've been watching alot of food movies on netflix like: Forks Over Knives, Ingredients, and Fat Head. Its interesting, very interesting. Mostly because I'll watch one and think, "Yeah, that makes sense." and then I'll watch another that promotes a different diet and think, "yeah, that makes sense." But I think about both of them and the puzzle pieces don't match up.

OR

There's no way a diet based on eating fast food and limiting calories and a diet based on eliminating the eating of all animal substance can both be good for you. So I went to the ultimate source of knowledge and wisdom: the scriptures. And as it always does, here are the answers!

Doctrine and Covenants 89:12,13

12 Yea, ^aflesh also of ^bbeasts and of the fowls of the air, I, the Lord, have ordained for the use of man with thanksgiving; nevertheless they are to be used ^csparingly;

13 And it is pleasing unto me that they should not be ^aused, only in times of winter, or of cold, or ^bfamine.

Problem solved! And unlike the worldly sources of how to eat healthy, this is so simple and makes so much sense. The way I think about it is that meat, and the fat that comes with it, both provide essential nutrients, building blocks for our bodies to function and grow. And back before freight and frigs and freezers, people ate abundant fruits and veggies in their seasons and ate animals in the winter when meat would store and give them that extra boost of calories to keep their bodies warm. It was a part of the plan for which Heavenly Father appointed the seasons.

Ta-Da! So its vegetarian by summer and omnivore by winter, for optimum health. And as to where eggs, fish, and dairy fit in, I say let the Lord's Spirit be your guide.

So I know it'll be a change for us and there is a very real reason for Rial and me to be starting our testing of these waters in the autumn and winter, haha, we love our meat and dairy. But I look forward to proving the Lord's words, and finding for myself, once again, of the eternal truths that they hold.

Bummers

Last Friday we miscarried. Its a hard feeling to describe. Well, its not just one feeling, its really a process of feelings. Impatience to be pain free, numb, absorbed in others and distant from myself, loneliness, overwhelming saddness, the loss of a dream, hope for tomorrow, and the regret of having to share such saddness with others.

Oh how I wish we didn't tell everyone we were pregnant in the first place. Its become such a laborious chore to tell everyone I meet up with the sad news. I hate it.

I also hate how little information there is on the internet about this. From what I gleamed from the internet and what people have told me about their experiences, this go around wasn't a viable pregnancy, as there was no baby that was developing, which is why my body let it go. It is easier knowing that though. But i still cried when I saw the cute baby clothes at the store on saturday and realized I had no reason to even consider buying them now. Luckily Rial was with me and was able to steer me away so I didn't cause a scene :).

And so now we're back to the waiting game

spilt beans

So as many people already know, we are pregnant! Yipee! Rial already spilt the beans on facebook yesterday, so sorry to everyone out there that would have liked to know before everyone else knew. Its hard for us to contain our enthusiasm for this next stage of our lives. As rial's mom said, "your lives will change forever." And its true; such is the joys, trials, pains, and blessings of being allowed to take this leap into the great unknown which is the future.

According to the web due date calculators April will be the month of pain and blessings for us, either sometime in the middle to a little later. And if thats true then that means we are about 3 weeks pregnant and our baby already has a heart! Isn't that incredible? We only found out 2 days ago and our little tyke/lady already has a heart! And eyes by the looks of this picture of a 3 week old. Sorry if you all could do without the image, but it fascinates me to think of all the growth that occurred in less than a month.

The only bummer thing is I've blocked out all my OB nursing due to the traumatic nature of how I was treated by my clinical instructor and should I have even breathed wrong I would be flunked immediately. I imagine for those who were not my classmates during this time period it would be difficult to understand just how awful my OB clinicals were under Yevette of Gateway. If you can imagine being stalked in the thick amazon jungles in the dark by a ravenous leopard who's guttural tones resonate the night of his need to kill and eat your flesh- then you can perhaps get a feel for just how overwhelmingly terrified I was of being failed and the resulting anxiety I have consequently incurred. I would have to be on the verge of death before I would ever consider walking out on an OB floor ever again.

So the short of it is, for better or worse, my OB nursing knowledge is locked away, safely inaccessible :), and I have lots to learn about the care I'm going to be needing, so its a good thing I've kept all my books. But the real question is does anyone know a good midwife and birthing center?

I... am... an RN!

So I did it! I took my nclex last week on thursday, and after a whole day of bracing myself for the heart-breaking news I had worried to pieces over, I looked up my name on the az nursing website and was delighted and oh so relieved to see that I passed. I think Rial is even more glad than I am, I really worried him when I came home crying after the test.

The nclex is a test that is certainly in a league of its own. Its a computerized test and there is a special way that they do it to find out what level you are and then they give you all the questions that match it, does that make sense? And then the computer looks to see if you are getting answers constantly right or consistently wrong. And the test just keeps going and going (75 to 265 questions) until the computer figures out if you are a safe nurse or not and then it just abruptly shuts off and leaves you hanging with the worst feeling in your gut. I answered about 77 questions.

So now I job hunt. But it looks like I might have a job soon in pediatric home care. I'm hoping everything works out and I can start working soon. 

bits and pieces

Its a happy time to be alive. I was once told that high adventure lies ahead, but I think we're starting to turn that corner.

This morning my dog's water dish was covered in ice, like a little mini skating rink. And boy! was the wind ever so cold as it blew. Unfortunately for my pup meiko, I chose to forgo her walk this morning. I've been training her to run as I pedal the bike and as long as the people in my neighborhood keep their dogs locked up it works out pretty good. Its a little annoying to have to slam on my brakes so we can turn around and return the loose dog back to its owner. but it usually goes well.

I've been getting back into the gardening thing. We even got the chicken coop moved so I could have a dog-free, bone-free garden. I've found at least 4 bones buried in my back yard in the past few months, or it may have been one bone buried in 4 different places. I'm not sure. But nonetheless, I'm so excited about the garden that will come in the spring. I found some strawberries, a golden raspberry, and a green grape plant all at walmart of all places. I planted the berries in the shade because last year the sun scorched the cumberland raspberries I got. And because Rial loves me ever so dearly, I picked up a 4 ft nectarine tree at home depot for only 15 bucks!

And I'm finally cleared to take my RN boards, its scheduled for the 17th of Feb. I'm so nervous, I feel like the stakes have never been higher, but I know Heavenly Father will support me if I only let Him. Just like how Rial and I were able to get through this last year. I was working on our taxes and it is positively astounding how we were able to make it with the money we made, I am so grateful we aren't doing this on our own.

Time flies when you're having fun

Its 2011. two thousand eleven! And here I am, still juggling to-do's, trying to figure out how to make it all fit. The sad thing is, I know what I'm supposed to do, Its just the actual doing of the prioritizing that's so hard.

If I ever had readers I'm sure they've all given up hope on reading anything worthwhile here, but I'm not giving up, its a new year and so here I go.

I'll start out by doing a nice recap of the last few months (excluding anything that has anything to do with nursing school, cause my pain is still too fresh). Maybe I'll talk about it in a month after I pass my boards and have a job.

We went and got ourselves a dog. Last october the animal shelter was having a special deal and Rial agreed to walk those sad smelly halls with me. I saw a couple maybe dogs, that tugged at my heart, but it wasn't till we had walked outside and looked back that we saw her. Rial stopped in his tracks and I followed suit. "thats a really pretty dog," I said, "You want to go back and see her?" I'm sure I sounded much too eager, but Rial agreed and we both fell in love. Growing up, Rial never had a dog and now he kinda wanted one. I'm always willing to take on more pets, so it's probably a good thing that I have rial to keep me from losing my common sense in this arena. I'm sure if I didn't have the upbringing I did, I would be a high risk for becoming one of those crazy cat ladies.

Four days later I brought meiko home and we couldn't be happier. She's such a good dog, a short haired husky mix, very submissive, almost never barks. My 3 year old niece plays with her and I'm always happy with how meiko responds to her, she'll run away and use evasive maneuvers if things get too noisy for her, which is good cause we don't want to keep loud mean animals.

One of the original black chickens got sick and died a while ago, poor Russette. But since then our neighbors caught a wild chicken and gave her to us. I think she's an Easter Egger from her coloring and I named her Antoinette. So far our 2 barred rocks and 2 Americanas are all laying now- cream and light blue eggs- YUM! Its great getting fresh eggs.

Unfortunately, my bag of chicken feed has attracted some unwanted guests in our storage shed and attic. If you guessed rats, you're right. Ew. I had thought mice, but suprise! I found dead rats in my traps instead. But the really scary thing was how the dead rats kept disappearing after the traps went off and I'd find the trap clear on the other side of the shed. I was really starting to wonder whether the rats of NIMH weren't imaginary after all. Then I figured out what was really going on. Rat cannibalism. I guess with my chicken feed locked up, food must be pretty scarce for them. Still, it gives me the willies. I hate having the rats, but I am so thankful that they haven't invaded the home part of our house.

We're nearly done fixing up our master bath. Everything is done except one more coat of paint on the wall and cleaning up and sealing the grout in the shower. Eeeeee! so close! I'm really glad with how its turned out and all the great deals we've found on our materials. We even found the smallest double sink in existence at ikea (we have a small bathroom).

And thats all I can think of so far, ta-ta for now!

so I've been kinda busy...

or maybe I've just been kinda lazy. Or I just don't really know how to organize the duties of my life right. Sad to say, i'm leaning towards the latter. Which means I'm sure I'll be having a lovely learning experience about that all too soon. I'm always so happy after these kind of experiences. And if I ever had the chance to do one over again I would. But, getting through the learning experience is usually not very fun. Darn growing pains.

I've done alot of growing in my life. I like to think about who I used to be and who I am now. And make comparisons. It helps me feel good about those un-fun learning experiences. Hmmm, its kinda funny cause I really don't like change. When ever something drastically changes in my life it throws everything out of whack, and I'm stuck doing damage control. But once all the pieces have been picked up and rearranged to work again, its always something to feel good about. Really good about. It just takes a while to get there. And then of course its after that that the next big change comes along, messing it all up again. My dad once told me "change is one of the few things in the universe that never changes". Kind of ironic isn't it?

I think thats why its so important to "be of good cheer". Because life is never going to stop throwing stuff at you and if you only choose to be happy during those brief periods of respite, that makes for alot of time being unhappy. Of course just learning to do that can be a challenge in and of itself- to be happy during hard times. Its a lesson I'm feel like I'll be trying to learn all my life.

But anyways, what I really wanted to write about here was all the things I've been up to since I abandoned my blog. my grass is growing. I've learned that if you want nice bermuda grass that cutting it really short is the way to go cause its only the very top bit that stays green anyway. My raspberry plants look dead. I shaded their leaves, but I'm thinking they died cause the dirt and their roots heated up too much. Rial wasn't very happy to learn that. Our bathrooms a mess cause we tore out the old shower and are building a new one. We moved the sink over 5 inches, yipee! The rest of our roosters were killed last saturday morning. Oh yeah, and we got 4 more hens a few months ago- 2 easter eggers and 2 barred rocks. I love the barred rocks, they are so soft and fluffy. But when we were plucking the roosters we found a few louse. Ewwwwwww. so gross. So thats one more thing on my to-do list. Still no eggs, but hopefully in a week or two the oldest hens will start laying (there are 6 total now- russette, black cap, glenda, elfeba, chex and bandit). And I passed my last semester, fheww! What a trial that was. But I am so glad I passed. It was all thanks to Heavenly Father. I never, ever could have made it through all that from the last three months with out Him. Its a really long story and it makes me feel exhausted just thinking about it.

So now that I've repented and am trying to change my ways, hopefully I'll be writing soon.

meet strider and cloud

I called him cloud cause he had little white patches on his wings when he was a chick.


And you can see here, strider is sporting the lovely feathered feet that make me think of him as a cowboy. It was such a shame they turned out to be roosters, they are such beautiful birds. I've decided my flock is a welsummer mix. Its the only breed that almost matches perfectly.
_
I had been hoping for sometime now that I would have some lovely hens in my batch of chicks, and as it turns out I do- russette and blackcap are little girls. But as for the rest its only been a matter of time.
_
A week ago they started crowing.
_
But since Rial and I are up before 7:00 am when it starts, we didn't mind it so much. But I can't say the same for our neighbors. I haven't heard a complain, but I know I would grumble and whine about it everyday if it had been affecting my sleep pattern.
_
And so today we decided to have some capon for dinner. Strider and Cloud were picked cause they're the biggest, the loudest, and they've started picking on beautrice (my favorite rooster of the bunch).
_
Lucky for us, Rial and I have both been on pioneer treks and we've seen the butchering of a chicken in action.
_
First we hung them up by their feet (if you let them run about without their heads they taste more gamey). Then we got a pot of water boiling (outside). Then we found a knife and cut the heads super quick. After they stopped flapping we dunk them in the water to loosen the feathers, and got started plucking them and gutting them (which was easier than I thought).

Smile for the camera boys!
I've never killed an animal before and I was really nervous thinking about it last week. Because I love animals. I even wanted to be a veterinarian when I was eight. And seeing as I balled my eyes out for 2 hours straight when my pet cat buck died 4 years ago, I thought I would cry at least once. But I didn't. I didn't even feel bad for sending cloud and strider on their ways. It really felt kind of natural to do it, like growing a garden. And after we got them all cleaned up, I was really looking forward to letting them sit in some mesquite marinade so we could have a nice home cook meal tonight.
_
It makes me think about the movie Food Inc. which is an awesome movie, please see it if you haven't. Its so crazy to think how disconnected our society is from the food we eat. I mean, for all we know our eggs, milk, fruit, veggies, meats- they just magically replicate themselves on the grocery store shelf after being bought and consumed. It is positively alarming to think just how little we know about what happens to our food before we bring it home to eat. And since I've watched Food Inc. I've been more selective about the items I purchase to eat, and I've decided to grow as much of my own food as I can. Not just because of my moral compass, but because EVERTHING seems to taste 10 times better the closer it is to home grown. Tomatoes are such a great example of this. And organic milk is soooooo worth the extra $1.50 to me. It just tastes so good!

Seriously?

Ice cream sandwiches are supposed to be the ultimate cheap dairy treat. Or maybe I just have too high of expectations for a $1.50. Last week I wanted something yummy and for some reason walking down the street in the heat of the day and coming back home eating an ice cream sandwich sounded delightful. So I decided to walk to the grocery store and buy some, but once I got to the frozen foods section I, well, froze.

I checked and double checked every brand of ice cream sandwich. Nothing was below $2.50. And yeah sure, its only a dollar more than I expected, but when I thought of it as being 60% more expensive than it ought to be, I just couldn't do it. I stood there for at least 15 minutes trying to make up my mind to just give in to my craving or be responsible with my money. The popsicles were cheap after all. But the only good ones, the fruit bars, were not. And that got me thinking. Why pay good money on overpriced frozen treats, when I could just make my own?

So I left the frozen food section and traveled over to the kitchen stuff section. And I found just what I wanted, a 4-sicle popsicle maker, with reusable popsicle sticks. It cost me $3.15, but it was worth it, even though my dream of walking home in the heat of the summer with a frozen treat was not to be.

Isn't it ironic that $3.15 for no-ice-cream-sandwiches is more than double the maximum price of what I would be willing to pay for 6 ice cream sandwiches. And yet, I feel my money acted responsibly, and given the choice, I'd probably do it again.

who knew?

In addition to several green tomatoes, zuchinni, and squash, we now have beets! Though I had never in my entire life (or Rial's) ever tasted a beet before, I had some seeds last february, and a little space, so I planted them. I thought, well, if for some reason they're just not my cup of tea, I'll give them to someone I know that loves them.

Last night I cooked my first one in a plastic bowl with some salt water in the microwave for about 6-7 minutes. For all the experiences I've had with microwaving things, there are few that make the top list. The fork, varies bugs (though technically that was my brothers), marshmellows, and now beets. Beets are really neat cause its an art project and a side dish all in one.

Besides being delicious all by themselves (and Rial liked it too), the water in the bowl was turned the color of a garnet, a red as deep as blood. And oh the possibilities one could do with a deep red liquid! I thought how it could be added to pancakes, or a smoothie perhaps, or anything really in need of a little color and a few suble beet nutrients. Or one might dye clothes red (or maybe it would turn out more pink, I haven't tried it yet). or playdough, or play a prank on a young child wanting some "juice". Or possibly use it as ink for an old fashioned letter written with a feather. The options seem only as limited as one's imagination.

But I am now in need of recipes that use beets, because cooked plain is the only way I know. So if anyone out there knows a good recipe that uses beets, please, please, please share.

Devil Weeds

"Oh Golly! Your whole yard is cover in holes Lisa!"

"Why yes, yes it is."


"Gophers?"

"Weeds."

"My! Those must be some weeds."

"Why yes, yes they are..."

"... some devilish, deep rooted, joke of a weed."

Cum-ala, cum-ala, cum-ala Vista

I have an itch. And oh, what I wouldn't give to scratch it. Scratch and tear it up and drive it away forever! Like in that song from girls camp.

I want so badly, to have everything, finished, complete, and done-right now. New flooring: done. New lovely kitchen: done! And a nice garage, a front yard with a little white picket fence, and a sweeping grass lawn with a beautiful garden simply bursting with spring goodness! Oh! let's not forget, perfectly clean air vents and some soft warm walls that don't remind me of cardboard everytime I look at them. Ohhhhhhh, Ahhhhhhhhhh, that would just hit the spot.

But of course, I thought the same thing when Rial and I we're building our chicken coop. "Let's just get this thing done so I can have what I want!". And it was right there, when the feelings of frustration that come with large, time-consuming projects made me stop and step back and think, "Woah, I just felt like a child on the verge of throwing a temper tantrum because they had to eat their dinner before they got their dessert."

But I'm there again. Haha, its like I've time traveled into the past. Now that we've made a big mess by tearing out a wall in our kitchen, I'm itchy all over and I just want my dessert. You can take the nutritous experiences, just give me my dessert.

And now its time to remind myself, "but lisa, you like roast beef and zuchini and mashed potatoes and gravy. You like building things and making things and having fun creative projects to do."

And I'll whine back, "yeah, its fun to make things, but THIS is just so much work!"

"But it can still be fun."

And thats really how it should be. Even though its alot of work and sometimes frustrating that it takes so long, I can still enjoy myself and the time I get to spend with Rial and say 'wow, look at all this great stuff we accomplished! And now we're that much closer to being done!' And years and years from now we'll be talking about, "You remember when we were working on our house and then (blah-blah-blah-blah-blah ) happened?" And we'll talk and laugh about it and finish it up by saying, "Yeah, I'm really glad we were able to do that together, we had so much fun."

Its like: though the destination in life is important, its the journey that makes the memories. And we're the one who deceide what kind of memories we make.

Bee-be-dillie-a-boatin'-bop, Bo-bop-a-beaten-dot- Shhhhhhhhh, Vista!

Interesante'

Do you remember the movie 101 Dalmations? Though I don't know if there are very many people out in the world that have an uncanny resemblance to their owners, I did ask a lady that worked at a vet office once, if she saw that very often- pets looking like their people. She turned her head to the side and thought for a bit and surprised me by saying, "No, not really. Mostly they just have similar temperaments and such."

I had never thought about that, and it made me wonder whether or not Kuma resembled me. Keep in mind now that it was pure luck I wound up with Kuma, its not like I was cat/kitten shopping when I got her. I was walking back to the car at a gas station in safford, tagging along on Rial and Tyler Allen's car-fixing trip. 

Whether or not our temperments are spot-on, there are certain things we have in common. Like how I'll follow Rial around the house sometimes, just to be with him- Kuma likes to follow me around too. And its not even like she comes by and sits next to me, but if I'm in a room working (like now I'm typing on the couch and Kuma's sitting at the window) she'll walk in and hang out there too.   Also, I have this weird habit of sitting up on the sink when I'm doing my make-up- which my cat imitates, both with and without the water running.

Though I've never drank from a sink before, that's all Kuma- cats like it when their drinking water flows for some reason.

But all these similarities do bring up the whole Nature vs. Nurture thing. It makes me wonder if Kuma is a "copy-cat" and imitates me, or were our crossed paths more than just mere chance. I'm not sure, but it is food for thought. Which reminds me, my roast is getting done, avoire!

strut that stuff!

Yes, today is garbage day, but that's beside the point. Our yard is changing. It has taken one step closer to being more of a yard and less of a field of weeds. Granted, there are still weeds, but they won't be there for too much longer.

A big way-to-go! goes out for Brock for digging out the dirt, my father-in-law for shoveling the small rocks with Rial, and Rial for pressing the rocks and laying the pavers. And what did I do to contribute to this fine piece of architecture? I helped pick out the type of bricks with Rial AND I paired them up and handed them to him when he was laying the bricks down. I think I had the best job out of everyone, but that's just because Rial loves me so.

Now, I do feel a little bad spending money on a house project unrelated to the dysfunctionality of the master-bedroom's shower or our air duct system, which are kinda on the top of our to-do list. But the pavers were on sale! And the leveling tool was cheap. And having a nice front yard is important to Rial. And what's important to Rial, is very important to me.

Bauk, bauk, be-cock!

At least thats what I'm hoping they'll be saying when they get older.

Yep, thats right! My 3 year old dream has finally come true. I have chicks. Ten wonderful chicks. They were given to me about 3 weeks ago and I can not get over how fast they've grown! You can already see some of the differences in the fist 2 wk old pic where their sleeping, and the other two pics I took this week. There are 8 black/brown chicks and 2 yellowy chicks.

my poor Kuma. What that cat wouldn't give if she could just chase them about. I'll let her come outside when I water my garden and do a little yard work. And now that we have chicks, she's spends all her efforts stalking them, despite the wire fence that prevents any damage from ever occuring. If Kuma is anything, she is the most hope filled cat on earth. There isn't a simgle time I don't reach for my shoes or walk past a door that she doesn't run up to it and start meowing her wishes of going outside. Poor kitty. But she tolerates being cooped up fairly well, despite her killer cat instincts.

But I digress, its a good thing the chicks are growing so fast, because I am just dying to know what kind of breeds they came from and which ones I'll be eating because they're roosters. Its a sad thought, but I need my chickens to give me edible eggs, and a rooster doesn't configure into that equation, and I can't think of what else I ought to do with roosters. The person who gave me the 2 day old chicks, told me that he didn't know the sex or breed because these eggs became fertilized and hatched unintentionally, which was why he was giving them away and not selling them.

After hours of scouring the internet, I've put my hopes in that the brown/black ones will turn out to be some type of marans mix and the yeollowys to be easter egger chickens. But alot of different breeds look exactly alike as chicks and its not till they're older that their plumage changes to the breed standard. But till all is said and done, I'll take a leaf out of Kuma's book and remain hopeful that I'll be getting chocolate brown and green/blue eggs in 2 months.