Friday, February 26, 2010

Begone with you, foul weeds!

Admittedly, I was disappointed when I looked out at what was once a lovely barren yard, and saw it desecrated by hundreds upon hundreds of weeds. All my hard work over the winter break of raking and gathering dead vegetation, all of it for nothing. Cause now, its been replaced with a vast field of rag weeds, growing high, up to my waist. And with a broken lawnmower and broken weed wacker and zero willpower to work one by one, pulling each one out by the roots, it didn't look like it would be changing any time soon.

So I was standing by my window the other day, looking over my yard, and I decided that I really didn't mind it so much that weeds were growing everywhere, I just didn't want them blooming and going to seed, which they were. Cause more seeds meant ever more weeds next year, and an even bigger mess when we finally get around to re-establishing grass as the dominant vegetation.

So I went outside to get a better look at the mess which was the backyard. And before me, it was all transformed into a deep amazon jungle, with impassable vegetation rising from the ground. Vegetation so easily cut down by a machete. 

Now, not ever having been to South America, I don't own a machete. But being a trainee in the deadly arts I do own an unsharpened set of twin broad swords, which were soon recovered from their home at the back of my closet. 

Then I got to work. I raised my blade and stuck in one fluid movement. Slash! I was amazed how easily my blade sliced through the green fleshy stalks. Slash, slash! Though I had planned on only cutting the flowers off, I couldn't restrain myself from delivering three or four blows to the same patch of weeds, cutting them lower and lower. I had never known weeding to be so fun! And its kinda funny, but I'm hoping maybe I'll get just a few stalks of ragweed next year that I can let grow for more swordplay practice.

1 comment:

Jeff and Kelsey said...

I was getting scared that you were going to say you slashed at your legs.